It appears that on April 1 two 'myths' are quickly being proved out as a new program being forged by the Irish government will see the distribution of at least one ounce of gold to every Irish citizen, and foreigners of Irish descent in the wake of Brexit.
The two myths we speak about of course are that gold is truly money and a store of wealth, and that the spirit of the Leprechaun is alive in well on the Emerald Isle.
In an unprecedented move the Irish government is issuing and dispatching a free gold coin to all Irish citizens and foreign persons of Irish heritage.
In a controversial move, the Ministry of Finance plans for Irish people to own at least 1 ounce of gold bullion. The Irish Finance Minister said the “little people” were exposed due to the many risks that Brexit poses to Irish companies and the Irish economy and indeed the risks posed to the EU and the euro itself.
Irish politicians on the left have criticised the move as being “too generous.” They said that wealthy Irish Americans should not benefit from the move given that there is a homeless crisis in Ireland and given that the state was still close to bankruptcy.
Speaking on condition of anonymity the Irish Finance Minster Mr D. O’Gill stated in his Constituency office of Donaghue’s Bar on Baggot Street:
“Sure if the Brits leave us alone to fight the mad Germans and French Looney’ in Europe, sure we will be awful trouble and it won’t belong before the whole Euro project goes up in flames, a bit of gold in the hand will do wonders to calm nerves and keep the party going”.
All Irish people and those who claim Irish descent should register at the local Irish consulate. The Irish Embassy in Washington is expecting significant interest and Irish Americans began queuing the Embassy last night. - Goldcore
Oh and by the way... April Fools!